I forced a bot to read over a thousand hours of Louisville Twitter. Then, I asked it to simulate Louisville Twitter interactions during a Louisville football game. The findings were both alarming and completely unsurprising.
Reporter 1: Here we are from the stadium. Two hours until kickoff for Louisville football and what a beautiful day. Cards.
Twitter user: Excited for Satterfield and the game today. Nervous about Malik and the defensive as all ways!
Reporter 1: Stadium as team runs out. Cold but parking lots are drunk.
Reporter 2: For the Cardinals, victory is important today. Attendance spotty. Kids sportsing. 5 minutes kick off.
Reporter 3: We are under way at the stadium. Kick out bounds. Not good.
Twitter user: Of freaking course.
Twitter user: This always starts. Worst team.
Twitter user: Big time as always. Unbelievable. And walk-ons? This is ACC.
Reporter 1: Early big playing. Defense bad loss secondary out there. 0-7 Louisville. 12:47.
Twitter user: It’s like they don’t. Trying not the strongest for team? Maybe rebuild unforunately.
Twitter user: Malik!
Twitter user: Always that play. Very much clutch after the touchdown.
Twitter user: I tell you Playstation. Because he’s wow!!
Twitter user: Motherfucker!
Twitter user: Every time! Where is Conley?
Twitter user: I give up. Why do we try? When is drinking time?
Reporter 4: 10-0 Cards once again mistakes are costly.
Twitter user: JAVIANNNNNNNNNN!
Twitter user: Train Horn!
Twitter user: Thank Jesus for Mr. Hawkins. Very good. Long runs are WHAT? Crazy .
Twitter user: Do we even special teams? Honestly just question.
Twitter user: Does Ledford where? I mean… FLAGS?!
Twitter user: Tutu and nothing else. Always tutu first.
Twitter user: Fitzpatrick? Ever?!
Twitter user: This play calling I just
Reporter: End of 1st quarter. Vanilla calling but Cardinals 10-7.
Twitter user: Wow!!!!
Twitter user: Where was this play calling? Where?!
Twitter user: Wow that was up his sleeve.
Twitter user: Two feet in! Use the hands!
Twitter user: Malik!
Twitter user: Man, when he runs.
Twitter user: Dear lord! A timeout in your pocket?
Twitter user: 12 men? Hello! Critical.
Twitter user: Knee was down! down on ball its close
Twitter user: That’s big. Louisville is big on that one.
Twitter user: Best we can hope is one more score.
Twitter user: Satterfield! The timeouts?
Reporter: Halftime stats hot off the press.
Twitter user: Did I mention we don’t drink enough?
Twitter user: Are we going to talk about these announcers or? Good lord I mean Clemson fans?
Twitter user: Wow, can we show the game again?
Twitter user: Cunningham I mean first checkdown? And the sack. Digressed.
Reporter 4: Tough scene here at the field.
Twitter user: ALien Tape!!
Twitter user: Got me some Alien tape. Want some?
Twitter user: Death. Taxes. Alien tape. ACC Network! Lol
Twitter user: Wow that’s 2020!
Twitter user: Tee Webb or no?
Twitter user: I mean what even is Satterfield?
Twitter user: Good grief Cards!
Twitter user: Not even looking at the ball!
Reporter 1: 5 yard run touchdown. Louisville 17 and 20.
Twitter user: Predictable.
Twitter user: Run on first down one more time.
Twitter user: Move the sticks.
Twitter user: Big play needed.
Twitter user: TUTU! God is good
Twitter user: Tutu is an *goat emoji*
Twitter user: Tutu!
Twitter user: Tutu my god.
Twitter user: Holding in what world?!
Twitter user: Three steps back one step forward
Twitter user: Unbelievable! Who? Where is that coming from?
Twitter user: You guys let me know going to bed.
Reporter: End of 3. Sad.
Twitter user: Monty is underrated
Twitter user: The pass rush going good
Twitter user: 3rd down always happens!
Twitter user: RIP touchdown squirrel.
Twitter user: More fans on party deck than seats of course.
Twitter user: Well time to drink?
Twitter user: I don’t know where the flag is there
Twitter user: What, I mean holding all day?
Twitter user: That’s it I am the ref now
Reporter 5: Final. Louisville 24-28
Twitter user: RIP Ennis
Twitter user: Pain.
